spastic yak

is this thing on?

2011-03-27T22:13:00.000-07:00

Ahem... ::tap tap tap::

resurrection

2010-04-02T22:22:00.004-07:00

No. This is not a post about Easter. Although perhaps the holiday has inspired me...

I'm thinking about reviving ye olde blog. I know I've said this multiple times before and I never follow-through, but my kids do too many cute things in a day. And I think my Facebook friends would get quite annoyed if I updated my status with Kathrynisms every five minutes.

Thoughts?

grocery shopping

2008-08-15T20:12:00.004-07:00

I am the most inefficient grocery shopper. I wander through the produce section, pick out my fruits and veggies and get all the way to the other end of the store before I realize I forgot the bananas. I do this multiple times during my shopping excursions. I'm always backtracking. Thus why my trips to the supermarket can last for at least 2 hours. I think I need to get my shopping list a little more organized.

blank

2008-07-22T13:54:00.004-07:00

I could tell you about how Kathryn and I made a trip to the pediatrician's office this morning, but I won't, because it's boring and turns out every thing is fine with our daughter. I'm just one of those paranoid moms.

I was going to tell you some thing hysterical and funny and life changing, but I've completely blanked on what that amusing anecdote was. Perhaps some thing will jog my memory and I can write about that later. I doubt it, though. Once it's gone from my brain these days, it's completely lost and never coming back.

What I will tell you is how this crazy guy ran in front of my car on Saturday. There I was, driving through our neighborhood, chatting with Brien on my cell phone about picking up some spray paint while I was running errands. I slowed down because I noticed the same loose dog on the side of the road that I've seen many times before. And then, all of the sudden, this moron was running out of the park and right in front of my vehicle. Thankfully the damn dog slowed me down. Had I been going the speed limit, or 50 mph like most people drive through our neighborhood, the guy would probably have been flattened like a pancake.

I slammed on my breaks and started yelling, oh my God! What the fuck? Poor Brien, he was probably having a heart attack and thinking, what the hell did you hit now? Not that I get in to very many accidents, mind you, but I had a nice streak going a few years ago.

The guy was running in place in front of the car and turned to face me. Oh great, here we go, I thought. He's going to shoot me! Instead, he took off running East and never looked back.

And I continued on my merry way. As merry as can be after you nearly hit some one with your car.

shoe fetish

2008-07-18T13:43:00.008-07:00

Kathryn is obsessed with shoes. Just the other day, a good friend gave us a bunch of shoes that her daughter had outgrown. Kathryn loves to try them all on, especially a pair of green Crocs. She insists on wearing them every where we go. This drives me a little nutty because I'm all about the shoes matching the outfit, but I'm slowly letting go of my OCD tendencies.

If she could, she would wear those shoes to bed. Before her nap this afternoon, she dug them out of her shoe bin and had me put them on her feet. I don't know where this shoe fetish comes from - I like shoes, but I can count the number of pairs I have on ~~one~~ two hands.

Kathryn is also big on trying on shoes that are a little big for her yet. It's even better when she tries to walk in them!

eyes

2008-07-17T14:34:00.003-07:00

Today I had my eyes examined. They still suck. Oh well. At least I got a new pair of glasses out of the deal. Of course, not for free. Not for very cheap either. Don't tell my husband.

The optometrist decided it would be a good idea to dilate my eyes to check for any issues, considering the family history of macular degeneration and glaucoma. No problems, but the whole dilation thing is a bitch. Especially when you're trying to pick out a new pair of frames. It's even better when you decide to go shopping at Trader Joe's afterwards. Driving there is excruciating and everyone thinks you're a snot because you're grocery shopping while wearing your sunglasses.

ear infections

2008-06-27T13:25:00.004-07:00

Kathryn and I made our weekly trip to the pediatrician's office this morning. You think I'm kidding? Ha! See every post below about my daughter's health.

Turns out she still has the same ear infection which was first diagnosed a few weeks ago. Whoopee! We had this exact problem a few months ago. Amoxicillin just doesn't work on whatever funk my kid seems to be a magnet for. She's been prescribed some stronger meds and hopefully it will be knocked out this time. Kids are not supposed to be sick in the middle of the summer when the temperature is hovering at 106 degrees.

I'm really hoping that Kathryn won't end up with tubes, but it's beginning to seem inevitable at this point. I had terrible issues with my ears. Her uncle gets nasty ear infections and so does her cousin. Seems like she's being slammed from both sides of the family.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that this will be the last ear infection for a while.

hypothetical question

2008-06-27T08:25:00.003-07:00

Have you ever read a book and become attached to a particular character? Then said character dies and you're depressed about it for a week. Then you decide to torture yourself by re-reading the book immediately after you finish it because you're a freakin' masochist.

Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or any thing.

18 months

2008-06-18T13:13:00.003-07:00

I took Kathryn to the doctor for her 18-month well baby check today. No shots. What a relief!

She's still a big girl. She's grown nearly 2 1/2 inches since her last appointment, putting her height at 34 1/2 inches. I guess she gets that from her tall parents.

She's right on target developmentally, too. Talking up a storm, running every where and throwing some wicked tantrums.

Kathryn is happy, healthy and thriving. What more could a parent ask for?

losing it

2008-06-09T13:03:00.004-07:00

This morning Kathryn woke up at 5:38. I blame the nearly four hour nap she took yesterday afternoon.

Not surprisingly, she fell asleep on the way home from Elizabeth's house. Normally moving her from her car seat to her crib is not difficult. However, today, the day that I was finally planning to get stuff done around the house, she woke up and is currently in her crib swearing up a storm. Ok, perhaps she is not swearing. She actually sounds quite happy. But really, is a 20 minute catnap enough for a toddler who normally sleeps for nearly three hours most afternoons?

Ugh, it's going to be a long stretch to bed time if she doesn't give in to sleep soon, because there is no way I'm letting her nap until 4:30 again.

swimmin' fool

2008-06-08T21:12:00.006-07:00

The first time we took Kathryn swimming, she was only four months old. It was April. Kim and David were in town and invited us to take a dip in her parents' pool. I think it was a wee bit too chilly for Kathryn. That being said, I don't believe she enjoyed her first swimming experience all that much.

A few months later, we tried to introduce Kathryn to the pool again, this time at Brien's mother's retirement community. She seemed to take to the water a little better that time around. Maybe because she was older. Maybe because the water was warmer. Only problem, she really needed some sunglasses. The poor kid was going blind from the sun's reflection off the water.

Fast forward to this summer. What a difference a year makes! Kathryn is a swimming fool. Or at least a jumping fool. She loves the pool. She spends most of her time jumping off of the entrance steps in to the water. She goes completely under and comes up laughing and wanting more. She's also working on kicking her feet and moving her arms.

Even better, all of the exercise exhausts her. She went down for her nap this afternoon at one o'clock and we had to wake her up at 4:30. Normally she's up by 3:30 at the latest.

indy bites the big one

2008-06-07T20:34:00.003-07:00

We made it to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull today. In my opinion, it was awful. I could go on and on about how disappointed I was in the film, but I don't want to spoil it for any one who might still want to see it. Numerous times throughout the movie, Brien and I looked at each other and were like, WTF? Lucas should have stuck to Nazis and religious artifacts. I'm so bummed because I loved the original three. Ok, not so much the second one, but Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Last Crusade are fantastic. Oh well. At least I got a yummy lunch at Einstein's Bagels out of the deal.

update

2008-06-06T20:42:00.002-07:00

Holy shit! It's been forever since I posted. At least once a day I think, hey, maybe I should blog about that. Then I get distracted by my kid's screaming. And the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Not that I have any thing terribly interesting to write about anyway.

So here's a good thing - tomorrow Brien and I get to go see the new Indiana Jones movie. Woo! I can't wait. Getting away from the kid and our disaster of a house will be good for both of us. Oh, the house. Perhaps that warrants another blog entry, in about, oh, six months.

this is going to be a long one

2008-04-16T20:24:00.002-07:00

We went in for Kathryn's procedure this morning. Can some one tell me why they always make the person with the active 16-month old wait for an hour and a half?

Can some one also tell me why the doctor who performed said procedure had the worst bedside manner? Like, he was actually annoyed that he had to deal with a screaming toddler. Listen, buddy, you'd be screaming, too, if you were strapped to a table, unable to move, with a huge, scary machine hovering above you and you couldn't understand why. Asshole.

Despite it all, Kathryn survived. I thought she might enjoy heading to the mall for some pizza and to run off some of that cooped up energy at the play area.

The pizza went over OK. She ate most of it, but didn't devour it like I expected. I didn't think any thing of it. We headed to the play area. When we got there, Kathryn didn't take off running. She just sat there, clinging to my leg. I thought, OK, maybe she's tuckered out from the events of the morning and we should just go home and take a nap. I picked her up and right as I stepped over the threshold in to the mall, she puked. Pizza puke. All over me. Guess the stomach bug hasn't quite passed yet.

I'm amazed I didn't lose it. My first thought was, where's the nearest bathroom??? Then I figured it was better to just get the hell out of the mall without leaving a trail of vomit behind me. Luckily, the play area is all the way on the other side of the mall from where I parked. That was a fun walk. I thought my arm was going to fall off and Kathryn kept trying to push away from me because, ewww, mom, I vomited and you're making me sit in it.

We made it to the car. Barely. I stripped Kathryn, wiped her down the best I could and fastened her in the car seat. I considered shedding my shirt in the mall parking lot, but on top of every thing else that had happened today, I didn't want to be picked up for indecent exposure. I just wanted to get my kid home.

Kathryn passed out and proceeded to sleep for three hours. I took a shower. Kathryn woke up happy as a clam. No throw up since the episode at the mall, but I think we'll stick to a bland diet until I'm positive the last of the stomach crud has passed.

the one about vomit

2008-04-14T20:08:00.003-07:00

The past week has been a little crazy. I contracted the dreaded stomach bug that's been going around last Tuesday and didn't feel like eating much until Saturday evening. It was a doozy.

And now, what a freakin' surprise, my daughter has come down with it. It might be too much information, but last night, she threw up in her crib and didn't even stir. Do you know what she smelled like after rolling around in that all night? Yeah, gross. It's funny, though, despite it all she woke up all smiles. Until she realized I wasn't going to feed her and then she was pissed.

nice guys finish last

2008-04-04T21:16:00.004-07:00

Should I be worried that, while at the park today, my daughter was more interested in hanging around with the older, rowdy, cursing boys than the sweet, quiet boy and girl closer to her age?

Is this shades of the future? If so, lucky me.

15 months

2008-03-27T12:46:00.002-07:00

Technically 15 months and 15 days. We didn't make it to the pediatrician for her well-baby check on time due to The Sickness. See pretty much every entry below. I feel like that's all I've talked about since I started posting 'round these parts again...

But finally, Kathryn is happy, healthy and HUGE! 90th percentile for weight. 96th percentile for height. And 99th percentile for head circumference.

Yesterday, for Brien's birthday, I took Kathryn to the local portrait studio and had some pictures taken. That was quite a challenge because the kid does not stop moving. Still, the photographer was awesome and got some really cute shots. And I spent way too much money. I'll post the link later. PROMISE! I'm still working on getting the pictures uploaded.

In the mean time, you can check out the new video page. Live action Kathryn! What more could you people ask for?

i officially hate shopping

2008-03-21T21:27:00.002-07:00

I found the perfect dress. I paid a ~~little~~ lot more than I had originally planned. But is it worth my time and sanity to keep searching when I know I'll come up empty-handed? Nope, not in this girl's book.

This evening I ventured out in search of the perfect shoes and cardigan to go with the perfect dress. I found nothing after going to three of those huge mega shopping centers that are popping up every other mile in The 'Burbs. Ok, that's not true. I fretted over a pair of shoes that I kind of liked for $50. But I could not bear to part with that kind of money for a pair of shoes I wasn't wild about. I would probably never wear them again either. Yup. Suck. Back to square one.

I had this whole blog entry composed in my head while I was shopping, but if I posted every thing I wanted to write, we'd be here all night and I'm tired and want to go to bed. Here are the highlights:

Apparently I cut off this bitchy teenager as I was walking in front of the entrance to a store. She just couldn't shop fast enough! She got extremely snotty and said "Excuuuse me." I turned around and caught her mom's eye as she followed her daughter through the door and muttered, "fuck you." Totally unlike me to do that, but I was bitter that Ulta was out of my concealer. I was paranoid until I got to my car that they were going to hunt me down and beat me with their Louis Vuitton bags.

My foot seems to have an issue with dress shoes. Normally I wear a size 10. However, in heels and ballet flats, I wear a size 9. Although the size 9 in ballet flats is a tad too small. And a 9 1/2 is too big. Seriously, what is wrong with me? And don't even get me started on heels. I can not wear them. Not because they don't fit, but because I would fall flat on my face. I can barely walk without tripping in tennis shoes.

I saw a number of kids Kathryn's age out and about with their parents shopping at my daughter's bedtime. And later. I know there's all sorts of different approaches to parenting, but I just don't get it. My kid has to be in bed by 7:30. I need that time to myself at night. Otherwise every one is miserable.

I did end up buying a few things. Food at Wendy's. Fried rice for dinner doesn't cut it in our house, as crazy quick as our metabolisms are.

and she refuses to drink cranberry juice

2008-03-18T22:26:00.002-07:00

Thanks to every one who inquired about Kathryn's health and wishes for a speedy recovery. All two of you. The rest of you can suck it, like the guy I flipped off today for passing me on a residential street. The speed limit is only 25 miles per hour, fucktard! And you know the best part about it? I caught up with him at the next speed bump. Seriously, sir, YOU ARE A DUMBASS!

But I digress. The Monday before last we took Kathryn to see the nurse practitioner at her pediatrician's office. She had been feverish since Thursday and I thought she may have a bit of a stomach bug, you know, with the vomiting and diarrhea and all. The official diagnosis was acute gastroenteritis. Oh, don't worry about it, said the nurse practitioner. She'll be fine in three or four days. Ok, great. But by Wednesday she was not feeling better and I was losing my mind. The poor child was miserable and my patience was wearing thin. I made an appointment for Thursday morning.

We went in and saw the doctor this time. After listening to Kathryn's symptoms and examining her thoroughly, she decided to take a urine sample. This is a horrible procedure for a one-year old to endure and I do not recommend being in the same room while it is performed if you don't want to sob uncontrollably while your child screams bloody murder on the exam table.

Turns out Kathryn had a urinary tract infection. Poor girl. And after the trauma of getting the urine sample, they just had to go and stick her in the thigh with a needle full of antibiotics. Damn them!

She's on oral antibiotics now and is finally getting back to her normal, feisty self. You know, instead of whimpering all day long because it burns every time she pee, now she is screaming all day long because she's not getting her way.

I took her in for a follow up appointment yesterday and because she's so young and she's already had a UTI, her doctor wants to have an ultrasound done of her bladder and kidneys to make sure there are no abnormalities. That's going to be a fun experience, but better safe than sorry, right? Right.

temperature watch, day 7

2008-03-12T10:07:00.002-07:00

103 degrees first thing this morning when I changed her diaper. ::beats head in to wall::

Please, someone, MAKE IT STOP! Or break. I guess that's the more appropriate thing to say when you're dealing with fevers.

Currently, she is passed out in her crib, which I suppose is an improvement over her sleeping on me all day.

the search for the perfect dress

2008-03-11T20:49:00.003-07:00

I lost it this morning when I took my daughter's temperature and saw, hey, look, it's at 103.9 degrees. For the fifth day in a row! I'm trying hard not to stress, considering the nurse practitioner told me that it's perfectly normal. If she's not better by Friday, however, I'm taking Kathryn back to the doctor. It's horrible to see your kid miserable. I just want her to feel better already.

Thankfully, I got a nice break from my sick kid. I dropped Kathryn off with her Mom-Mom and took the day for myself, picking up some much needed t-shirts at Old Navy. And all on sale! I'm also on the hunt for a dress. Not too fancy, but not too casual. Somewhere in between. Why? Because my mother and I are headed back to the Midwest this May to attend a retirement party for one of her former co-workers and I need to look hot! Heh. I found a fantastic, simple black dress that I love. For $120. Shoot me in the head. It seems like every reasonably priced frock has some loud, obnoxious print on it. And that makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

So, tell me, where can I find a cute, simple dress that accentuates my boobs? Anyone?

i should be sleeping

2008-03-10T21:04:00.002-07:00

I always get sucked in to the worst reality TV shows. Today, while my feverish child lounged on me, I watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians. LOVE IT!

Currently, I've got Jon and Kate Plus 8 on in the background while I surf the web. It's a trainwreck. I can't look away. I think I've got it rough with one kid. I cannot imagine having eight, let alone six of them being active, mobile toddlers. That is my worst nightmare. I'm already terrified that I'll have twins next time around...

Perhaps if Kathryn decides to do her 2-5 a.m. wake up this morning, they'll have a middle of the night marathon of Scott Baio is 46...and Pregnant on VH1. Fingers crossed! Although let's hope Kathryn sleeps through the night instead.

make it stop!

2008-03-08T14:36:00.003-07:00

My kid is sick. Again! Imagine that! Are you surprised? No, I didn't think so. As much as I write about my kids many ailments, I should rename this blog to Spastic Sicko. What do you think? It's got a nice ring to it.

I've been meaning to post about tons of things, like our visit to the gym place. It was awful. You know why? Because it was bring a friend day, so all of the other mothers had their buddies with them. Therefore there wasn't much socializing and I felt totally awkward and out of place. But I feel that way going to the grocery store, so I guess it was just like any other day. Despite this, I'm thinking of signing Kathryn up for the next session because while I hated it, she loved it. You know, if her immune system finally decides to start working.

Perhaps I will post later about our family's love for Radio Flyer wagons. Ok, it's more of an obsession, but that's besides the point. I just want an excuse to share an adorable video of Kathryn. Stay tuned...

awww hell noes

2008-02-27T22:30:00.003-07:00

I was in the kitchen late this afternoon, getting things ready for dinner, when I glanced at the weather station I got my husband for Christmas. My jaw nearly dropped through the floor when I saw the outside temperature reading at 91 degrees. In the shade. That's gotta be wrong, right? Sure, it was a little warm when Kathryn and ventured to the park this morning, but come on. I'm just going to blame it on the fact that I didn't get the $100 weather station. The cheap one must not be as accurate. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself. I know, I know, I said I couldn't wait for summer, but honestly. A few more weeks of cool temps would be nice.

Speaking of the park, we met a nice lady and her little girl when we there. I think. If you know me, you know I'm not the most social creature, but I'm trying hard to become more outgoing and friendly, especially when it comes to fellow mothers with kids around Kathryn's age. So I was trying to make conversation and be chatty, asking about the lady's daughter and where she lived, blah, blah, blah. She didn't seem very interested. Maybe I was boring her. Maybe it's because I looked like Farmer Beth in my overalls with no makeup and my ratty hair pulled back in a ponytail. Or maybe I'm just paranoid that no one likes me and it's all in my head. Yeah, that's probably it.

And, speaking of being more outgoing and social, Kathryn and I are headed to one of those toddler gym places tomorrow morning for a free trial class. I'm sure I'll have some fantastic stories afterwards for your reading pleasure. You know, if I survive having to socialize with the other parents.

a long post about baby shoes

2008-02-25T20:33:00.005-07:00

Remember those shoes I bought Kathryn at Target? The great deal I went through hell to get? I hate them. HATE THEM. They're thick and inflexible and she can barely walk in them. I guess that's what you get for $3.24.

I would keep Kathryn in Robeez forever, but she needs a shoe with more protection and support. So we headed to Stride Rite. And I spent a lot more than three bucks on a pair of sneakers. Sure she'll outgrow them in a month, but they're adorable and she's already walking better.

I guess it's family tradition to wear Stride Rite shoes. I wore their shoes up until I went in to adult sizes. Of course, that had to do with my pigeon toes. I literally tripped myself when I started walking as a toddler. I had to be in crazy expensive shoes to help my feet. I also had to wear a brace on my legs for nearly two years. This led to some horrible nightmares in which I couldn't run from the monsters that were chasing me. To this day I still have dreams where my legs drag and I can't get where I need to go fast enough.

All of this talk about shoes reminds me of a story from when I worked at Lil Things, The Big Store for Little Kids! Way back in the day when I was 16-years old, I started my first and only foray in to retail sales. I worked in their apparel department selling clothes and shoes to bratty children and their obnoxious parents.

One night this couple came in with their little boy. He had been walking for a while, but they were just then buying his first pair of shoes. The manager of our department always encouraged us to sell the most expensive shoes. These were the biggest no-nos for new walkers. Hard, thick soles, stiff leather. Think of traditional, high-top, white baby shoes.

I was standing there, bs-ing my way through why they needed to buy those shoes. I specifically remember saying, "Oh, they offer a lot of support in the ankles which is important." And they totally bought it! They walked out of the store with their screaming kid. He was pissed. Sorry little dude. Knowing what I know now, I never would have sold your parents those things. Kids don't need support in the ankles. They need lightweight, soft-soled moccasins in the beginning.

So there you have it. Every thing you never wanted to know about buying shoes for your toddler. To recap, cheap, hard-soled shoes blow. Learn from my mistakes, people.